23

Thank you God for another year of life, 23 will be a good one!  The past 22 years has been a journey and I trust that the rest of my life will continue to be filled with adventure. I am so thankful that every aspect of my life is held in the palm of your hands and I will continue to leave everything at the feet of the cross.

Things I am grateful for at 23

1. A college degree!

2. The opportunity to lead a small group and live life with my sisters from my home church.

Wisdom

“I’d like to introduce you to the most remarkable woman in the Bible. She’s the most vibrant, life-giving, breathtaking female ever mentioned in Scripture, ever seen in history. She holds more wealth than the world’s richest business tycoon and more power than the world’s savviest politician.

If you make her your companion, you’ll discover the best friend you’ve ever known. She will encourage you. She will counsel you. She will protect you. She will strengthen you. She’s got your back. But if you get on her bad side, cross her, or snub her, she will become your fiercest enemy.

Her name is Wisdom.”

~ Margaret Feinberg

There is a deep desire to make wisdom my closest companion these days.

Lord, ground my life in your rich wisdom. Remind me daily that a drop of your wisdom is better than an ocean of earthly knowledge. Amen.

College Reflection

It’s officially been a month since I have graduated from college! I cannot even begin to express how much I miss Nyack, New York and all of my friends, but being home has brought me joy in many ways as well. In the past month there has been so much to reflect on as I thought about the past five years of my life. Five years ago, when I was preparing to go to college, people told me that it would be amazing and now that I have closed that chapter, I can attest to it! College, if lived well, are some of the best years of schooling people will go through. After much reflection, I would summarize my 5 years of college with these 5 words, peace, grace, courage, joy, and faithfulness. Those have been some of the underlying themes of my 5 years at Nyack College and here’s why…

Peace

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

Freshman year I was extremely uptight and restless. Most students tend to go out and take advantage of their freedom, but I stayed in my dorm room to do homework and study. My friends would invite me out, but I always said no because I was going to do school stuff. I would say I was busy, but let’s be real, I wasn’t truly that busy I just felt busy. I put so much pressure on myself to do well that it never seemed like I was doing enough. When doing my homework assignments and studying for my exams, I always felt anxious and nervous. It was not until my second semester that I learned to receive the Lord’s peace. I realized that if I worked to the best of my abilities then I should not  worry because God knew the effort  I was putting in. Ever since I received this truth I was able to relax more. God’s peace was something He exposed to me during my freshman year, but He continued to etch it onto my heart throughout the rest of my college years as different and more challenging circumstances started to arise.

Grace

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrew 4:16 

During my sophomore year, the word that kept coming into mind was, grace. This school year was the very first time that I had ever taken on a leadership role and I realized quickly that I was extremely flawed and so was everyone else. There were many moments where I was disappointed in myself and hurt by the members that I served. I found myself sad and sometimes upset with other people, but one day a friend reminded me that I needed to give them grace. I paused for a moment and thought, “why?” At that moment, I thought I was the one who needed grace. I wanted other people to be understanding and compassionate about where I was coming from. I continued to ponder on the idea of grace and realized that I already had grace from God and He was calling me to give grace to others even if I did not receive it in return. I started to see people and situations differently. I learned to give grace to those who did not understand the situation, but would still criticize things. Besides extending grace to others, I learned to also give grace to myself. I was the hardest on myself so I had to learn to be kind  when I did not feel like I was doing good enough. It was definitely a year of learning to receive God’s grace and then giving it to others and even myself.      

Courage

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Pslam 27: 14

I am not someone who normally likes to confront others because confrontation was always scary. My junior year was probably one the years where God really challenged my relationships with others. I needed a lot of courage to confront certain people and situations that were going on and He provided me with just enough courage to do so. Some confrontations turned out better than others, but the Lord really gave me a spirit of courage to do what I needed to do to restore or let go of some of those relationships. Courage was also the theme for our women’s ministry that year and we focused on doing some things that would take us out of our comfort zone. The Lord calls us to be courageous in our faith and in our lives because we will face many situations where we need to be bold, firm, and strong. This particular year, God taught me how to be courageous and it’s something that He still continues to challenge me about as life decisions get harder and harder.

Joy

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

My senior year of college did not start off well, but it was a time in my life where God was teaching me about what it meant to have and live in His joy. God used the rest of the year to diligently and patiently show me what it meant to still have joy in my suffering and disappointments. In this year, I had a strong desire to know more about His joy and how I could live a life full of it. I even started to blog so I could document the joyful moments in my life because I did not want to forget how good God had been to me. I was truly learning to have a deep joy in my life that would give me hope when things were difficult and it also allowed me to celebrate the good things in my life. Receiving God’s joy helped me strive less and in turn have a greater understanding and appreciation for His work in my life. 

Faithfulness

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is our faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Throughout my time at Nyack God was faithful to me in so many ways. My super senior year was definitely filled with evidence of God’s continual faithfulness in my life. I was in a sticky situation because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to student teach in the spring because I didn’t pass all of my state exams, but God was faithful and allowed me to pass all of them on the first try. Once I passed all of my tests, I received news that I still might not be able to student teach and graduate because I had a course to take before student teaching. My only hope was that my professors would allow me to combine my practicum and student teaching courses. Praise God because they did allow it and my cooperating teacher was willing to have me in her class longer. I had also been busy this year working two part-time jobs and going to school full-time. Before I started spring semester I debated long and hard to see if I should quit one of my part-time jobs. I really did not want to because I did not feel financially secure, but God reminded me of how faithful He was to me before I even started working. I am thankful that I quit because spring semester was even busier as I was student teaching full-time, working part-time, and then going to night classes as well. There were many moments and situations where I was uncertain of how things would turn out, but God always pulled through. Something that always encouraged me during this final year was that God would finish the works that He started in me. I knew everything was going to be okay because of His consistent and never ending faithfulness in my life. It was amazing because during commencement there was a huge sign that hung across the stage saying, “Celebrating God’s faithfulness.” He was truly faithful to me throughout my whole time at Nyack and in the future I pray that I will be able to remember these moments when I need to be reminded of His faithfulness.

As I wrote this post, I was overwhelmed with the many things that occurred in such a short amount of time.  I cannot simply share it all in a single blog post, but all I have to say is, I am such a different person from my 18 year old self. These past five years have challenged, stretched, and molded me in ways that built my character and confidence to whole a new level. During my time at school I believe God was preparing me for greater things to come. As I encounter future struggles I am sure these college issues will begin to pale in comparison, but it will also be these very trials that will remind me of God’s steadfast love for me. These stories will serve as a beautiful testimony of the work of God in my life as well. May you all be blessed and encouraged!

---

Side note: Congratulations to all who also graduated from college this year. I pray that you would all rise to the calling that God has been equipping you for. To the high school graduates, congratulations! Life is about to get really interesting. Praying this new chapter of our lives will be sweet and full of new opportunities.

He is Faithful

“Faithful you have been, faithful you will be.”
A sweet reminder this morning that helped me make a decision. One factor that I like to consider when I make a decision is what will make me feel secure. Sometimes, I’m scared to make the choice that I know I should because I don’t know if I’ll be secure. I can think of countless stories of when God pulled through for me when I least deserved it so I don’t know why I’m still scared that He won’t do the same now. He will most definitely take care of me, always.

Small Victories

There is a particular student who makes my job very difficult. There are many days where I feel like I fail as a teacher because of his defiance and hurtful comments. Here’s a guilty confession, on many occasions, I wished he would just transfer to another school to make my life easier. I never thought I would feel like this about a student, but the struggle is real! I did feel bad when I wished he would transfer because one, I would hate to put that responsibility onto someone else and two, I really didn’t want to give up on him. Two weeks ago, we were in the vice principle’s office literally everyday. I seriously thought the vice principle probably regretted hiring me because I didn’t seem very helpful. We actually have not gone up to office as much these days, but it is still a constant battle in the classroom. 

In a situation like this it is sometimes hard to not be clouded by all the bad behavior. Some days I feel like I don’t even expect much from him, but today there was a small moment of victory. Usually, when he is not focused I have to sit next to him to help him, but he dislikes that so he tends to act up more. I have told him in the past to kindly and respectfully tell me that he doesn’t need help instead of throwing a tantrum, breaking his pencil, or flinging his shoe across the room. Of course, he doesn’t do what I ask, but only what he wants. Today, I was going to sit next to him during math and he was starting to get upset. I was bracing myself for the worst, but to my surprise he actually just looked at me and said, “No thanks Ms. Her, I don’t need help.” It was such a jaw dropping moment for me (cue the heavenly music). Even though he threw a big tantrum later on in the day, the small victory still made me rejoice. The small victories are telling me that something in him is changing and it may not be as fast as I want it to, but it is happening. Instead of focusing on the bad, I’m going to choose to celebrate the small victories every day because they count for so much more than I can imagine. Praise God for small, but meaningful victories!

Love Without Limits

Can you think of people in your life right now who are hard to love? Is there solely one person or are there a handful of people you just can’t seem to love the way you should? The bible says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7, but we all know that is easier said than done. Loving people is one of the top things that God consistently calls us to do and it’s probably because He knew it would not be easy.

In this world, we encounter and experience many situations with people that make it difficult for us to soften our hearts to love or to have the courage to love. There are individuals who have strong personalities or bizarre characteristics that can be a turn off if things don’t “click”. There are individuals who have a messy past that you are either scared of getting involved with or getting hurt from. Then, there are the individuals who have hurt you personally and caused you to lose trust in them and others.
As I reflect on myself, I admit that it is a daily struggle to love selflessly without judgement or limitations. There are many people who I struggle to fully love and embrace because of an unpleasant first encounter, a personal situation, or because of what I have heard about them. It is truly convicting when reading through the word and God says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8. I certainly have not been fulfilling that.

There are many times where I have prayed to God to give me a heart that loves people and I thought that one day I would just love people without fear, feeling pain, or being bias, but that is not the case. We need to continuously seek God to understand what love is in order to have a heart that loves people regardless of our pain, fears, and biases. As we seek God we will see that, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives our fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us,” 1 John 4:18-19. The more that we know God, the more that we will understand love as written in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I think that love is a beautiful and powerful thing created by God and IS God. It is truly humbling to know that God calls us to love others with this kind of love.

~God, teach me to have a heart with compassion, courage, and grace that would love without limits.

Praying that these verses would also encourage and give you more insight about loving others.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2


“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13

Family

Before I left for college my mom told my brothers and I to appreciate the time that we had together because the time that we got to live with each other would be short. What she said couldn’t have been more true because time just seems to keep moving faster. Even though I love Nyack and I enjoy being out here in New York, my heart does long for my family. There have been some hard times being away from home, especially when someone was sick or hurt, but I have learned to put my family in the hands of God. I learned to trust and depend on Him to take care of and provide for them. I miss my family, but being out in New York has also been a blessing from God. My family may be far, but He has blessed me with new friendships and people that love me like family too.

This summer was so busy and it seemed to go by so fast that I did not get to hangout with the family too much. It makes me sad reflecting on it, but I will look forward to the time when I can be with them again! They are always on my mind and I couldn’t be more thankful for the family that God gave me. I’m so proud of each and every single one of them. I love and miss them dearly.

The best parents ever! They work sooooo hard and they always treat me like a princess, even when I am so undeserving of it all. They always want the best for me and are my biggest supporters.

Early in the summer when we went to the movies together!

Sam and I both got internships at our mom’s work place this summer so we car pulled all summer. I really enjoyed those car rides with him and I miss him dearly. I know God is doing great things in and through him at TFC though.

It was such a blessing to go to HLUB with my brothers and to see the different stages of our lives.

On my birthday I begged Elvin to make a cover for me and he flat out said, "No". I was kind of sad, but the next day he surprised me and made a cover with one my favorite songs at the moment (Love Yourself by Justin Bieber). It was seriously the sweetest thing ever and I was so touched!

Took the little ones to eat Mc Donalds after church. I went to order food and told them to find a table, but when I came back they just found a table with three seats, does that make any sense, there were four of us lol! Love and miss these boys sooo much!

Kayden will forever be my baby!

Grandma is always the one who is most excited when I get back and is always the saddest when I leave. Love her so much!

Camping

The one thing I always want to do every summer is to go camping and I got to do that this past weekend! There were so many memories that were made on this trip and I truly appreciate every single person who was on it. I was also able to learn a lot and experience a couple things for the first time.

This is the amazing group that I went camping with. The guys are so knowledgeable about the outdoors and if a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion ever occurred then I know I would be safe in their hands. Our ladies are also really smart and tough as well. Overall, it was great getting to know everyone better and being able to see different sides of people.

These are the people that I got to ride with! Good music and good talks.

Setting up our tent. It was so funny because when Julie pulled out the directions, the papers were so old that it looked like a treasure map. That gave us a good laugh. Our tent was pretty old and the hardest one to set up, but we still got it up!

As I said, I experienced some things for the first time and one of those things was catching a fish! This was the first fish I ever caught and I’m super excited and proud of it. Before I caught this fish I lost a hook, two other fishes, and while trying to help me, Chu’s sandal started to flow downstream. Luckily, Eric was able to grab it! When I brought the fish over to Yengers and Chu, it fell off of the hook and I kept insisting that they put it back on the hook before I took a picture. They wouldn’t, so I ended up holding it and it kept squirming in my hands. I was holding the fish so tight because I didn’t want it to keep wiggling around (sorry fishy).

While on the trip, I also got to practice shooting guns. It wasn’t my first time, but I still learned a lot of new things. The shotgun was heavier than I remembered it to be, but it was still fun to shoot. I didn’t hit any of the clay disks, but it’s okay because they said that my follow through was getting better. We also got to try Hluby and Danny’s handguns and they were scarier and harder to shoot because they were smaller and lighter. It felt like the gun was going to fly out of my hands and afterwards you don’t even really see where you shot at. Shooting was definitely an experience, but they are dangerous and people really do need to be educated about them. I really appreciate the mini gun lesson that the guys gave us.

One of my favorite parts about the trip was when we stayed up playing mind games around the campfire. Most of the girls either knew the game or caught on pretty fast, but the guys had a little more trouble catching onto the games. It was definitely a hilarious and memorable moment. Whenever I see the guys, I’m tempted to ask, “I’m thinking of a color, what is it?”  

Something else that I experienced for the first time was using nature as a bathroom. I don’t have any pictures of that, but it was definitely a funny experience. It wasn’t too crazy, but I just remember laughing every time us girls went to the bathroom. The night trips were the most hilarious, Esther simply cracks me up.

On the way back we had some car issues because Danny’s breaks just completely died. We were stuck on the side of the road for a bit, but some of us ended up heading back first. In the end, everyone got home safely and the weekend camping trip came to an end.

I’ll end the post with this picture because it was something that we were all looking forward to on our way back. The story behind this sign of a flying deer is quite humorous.

HLUB 2016

Hlub 2016 holds a special place in my heart for various reasons. The last time I was able to attend Hlub was in 2009 as an attendee. Of course, I was not an attendee this year, but I was blessed to go as a staff member. As a volunteer and staff member I feel like the conference goes by so much faster now. I got into Chicago on Saturday and in a blink of an eye it was already the end of the conference. I wanted time to slow down so that I could take part in what Hlub had to offer, but the busy work in the office and the random jobs I did kept me busy. Either way, it was a blessing to serve with the staff and volunteers to make the conference go as smooth as possible for the attendees. I was not able to take as many pictures as I wanted, but I am going to enjoy the ones that I did get to take!

Early morning flights with Yengers!

The first thing that I got to do once I landed was go to Lake Michigan with my mom’s side of the family! It was so spontaneous, but worth it!

Eating late at night and staying up to work. The struggle was real.

West Coast VS East Coast! West was down by 3 points and there were only 3 minutes left, but the boys on our team clutched it and scored 3 points! We tied!!! I’m still so amazed and shocked!

NYACKers!!! Special people in my life.

Shane & Shane!

Precious people that I got to see again!

The DHAY youth ladies and I.

The registration team, it was a blessing to get to know these hardworking ladies. They are so sweet!

Oh boy, Vincent got hurt on the first day of Hlub, but thankfully it was not anything too crucial. Nonetheless, I was so happy that the four of us were there together. We all had our own roles with the conference, Elvin and Vincent were attendees, Sam was a volunteer, and I was a Staff member. God has been so good to my family and I’m so thankful that He chose to use us to serve Him.

At the airport for FOREVER! Our flight kept getting delayed because of the weather so instead of landing in CO around 9pm on Saturday night we landed at 4am on Sunday morning!

Of course, the first thing we did after we finally woke up was grab lunch!

Hlub great and I’m excited to hear how God has touched the lives of all who were there!

Blessings!

DELILAH

This year at Hlub 2016 there were almost 2,000 people which included attendees, chaperones, volunteers, and staff, but there was one little girl who was not able to make it. This young girl was Delilah Lor; she was a 12 year old girl who was extremely excited to come to Hlub that she even packed her bags two weeks in advance. The night before her youth group was going to road trip down to Chicago she encountered some health complications and was soon declared brain dead. Sadly, on Sunday, July 17th at 5:15pm she took her last breath. Many of us began Hlub with heavy hearts for Delilah, her twin sister, her family, and friends, but thankfully God is still good.

Even though many of us didn’t know Delilah we cried for her and wished so badly that she could be here with us all. Still, God’s will is better than ours and she is with Him now. I thank God for giving the Menomonie youth group the strength to still come to Hlub, but now that it is over and they are home they still have to face the reality of Delilah’s passing. Whoever stumbles across this post, I hope that you would send prayers to Delilah’s family and friends. I’m positive that it would be much needed right now.

Delilah may have just been a 12 year old girl to people who heard the news, but to me her story plays a greater role. I believe that God used Delilah to help remind us of how short life can be and how we need to share the Gospel and love to those around us. The loss of Delilah also truly showcased how God’s supremacy reigns true and in every situation He is still God. Delilah’s life was precious and I’m sure she was a blessing to all who knew her.


God, please comfort and give peace to her family and friends right now. I pray that they would cling to you as you reveal your purpose for this and that they would know your joy even in this devastating situation. Amen.

22

In the words of Taylor Swift, “I’m feeling 22!”

When I think about it, 22 years came by so fast. I still feel like I am 18, but when I see myself in pictures I am not the 18 year old girl who was fresh out of high school anymore. There were so many life lessons that were learned and so many things I discovered about myself, I’m excited to know that there are still many more things to experience and discover. God willing, I look forward to what is to come.

Honestly, I also imagined my 22 year old self to be different. I thought I would be done with college, dating, a lot more confident, and possibly even overseas. I certainly feel so far from what I imagined and planned for myself, but there is a peace that I am exactly where God wants me. Even though I am not up to speed with the timeline of this world, I know that God’s timeline is so much better. I trust that there are great things waiting for me.

The top three things I am grateful for as I turn 22:

1. My family who showers me with unconditional love.
2. God’s persistent and consistent pursuit of my heart.
3. The simple fact that I am saved by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Next year, when i turn 23, I wonder how I am going to be or what I am going to be doing, but until then, I want to embrace 22. My birthday is also a reality check that I can’t be 21 forever ;) It’s time to keep moving on with my life.


~Thank you God for 22 years of life!

They Tied the Knot

One of the greatest joys in life is being able to see my dear friends find the one they love and then get married! Deciding to tie the knot is such a beautiful thing and it definitely is a blessing from the Lord. On June 18, 2016 I had the privilege to witness and participate in a childhood friend’s wedding. Meet Bao, the lovely bride!

Bao is someone who has such a kind and genuine heart. Whenever I talk to her I feel as though I have her 110% attention. I think that is just one of the many ways she portrays her intentional heart towards people. Toudo, her husband, is just the perfect guy for Bao and compliments her so well. This couple has so much zeal for the Lord. Praying that their marriage will be filled with a joy so deeply rooted in God that it would prevail during the good and bad times.

Just a couple shots that we had at Bao’s surprise bachelorette getaway!

Bao looked so stunning on the big day!! Just a sneak peek of one of the wedding pictures!

Luckily, Bao was able to stay for a whole week after the wedding, but because she was now a wife and a nyab we hardly got to see her. Thankfully, we were able to squeeze in lunch for an hour and a half. After we said our good-byes, I got into Cynthia’s car and started bawling! I didn’t cry at the wedding so I guess it was time to finally let those babies fall. I was extremely sad because I knew that nothing would ever be the same again, but I was extremely happy because Bao was starting a new chapter in her life. It was such a bittersweet moment. Even though there was a flood of emotions, I’ll always remembers Bao’s beaming smile, she was so happy through everything. I pray that she’ll always keep that smile on her face.

Probably our last picture with Bao for a while.

*****

On June 18, 2016, another one of my dear friends from college also got married! It was with such regret that I couldn’t make it. Meet Mx, the one-of-a-kind bride.

Mx, has been there from the beginning of my college years and I even got to room with her for two years. There are no words that can express how much I love, care, and appreciate this girl. She was with me during some of my toughest and greatest times. She has seen me cry, given me hugs, and made me laugh till I cried as well. She is so compassionate, selfless, and has such a servant heart. Chuchi, her husband, takes such good care of her and I trust that he will continue to take care of her until the end. Even though I couldn’t make it to her wedding, I’m blessed that she’ll be up at Nyack again with me next year. I want to treasure all of the time I have with her before we’re off doing our own things after Nyack.

This is Mai and I with Mx on the day she got engaged!! We were so thrilled for her and Chuchi!

Since I didn’t get to go to the wedding, Mx gave me a little sneak peek at some of her wedding pictures. Gosh, she was such a gorgeous and breathtaking bride. I can only imagine how much more beautiful she was in person.

Praying that God would bless their marriage and remind them of the richest of loves and blessings when times are tough.


 These two ladies are so special, no wonder they both married pastors. It makes me so happy to know that these ladies will be serving alongside their husbands in ministries that God has set aside for them.

"Keep it Shut" by Karen Ehman

Main Idea: Lace our words with grace and speak with discernment.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24