Small Victories

There is a particular student who makes my job very difficult. There are many days where I feel like I fail as a teacher because of his defiance and hurtful comments. Here’s a guilty confession, on many occasions, I wished he would just transfer to another school to make my life easier. I never thought I would feel like this about a student, but the struggle is real! I did feel bad when I wished he would transfer because one, I would hate to put that responsibility onto someone else and two, I really didn’t want to give up on him. Two weeks ago, we were in the vice principle’s office literally everyday. I seriously thought the vice principle probably regretted hiring me because I didn’t seem very helpful. We actually have not gone up to office as much these days, but it is still a constant battle in the classroom. 

In a situation like this it is sometimes hard to not be clouded by all the bad behavior. Some days I feel like I don’t even expect much from him, but today there was a small moment of victory. Usually, when he is not focused I have to sit next to him to help him, but he dislikes that so he tends to act up more. I have told him in the past to kindly and respectfully tell me that he doesn’t need help instead of throwing a tantrum, breaking his pencil, or flinging his shoe across the room. Of course, he doesn’t do what I ask, but only what he wants. Today, I was going to sit next to him during math and he was starting to get upset. I was bracing myself for the worst, but to my surprise he actually just looked at me and said, “No thanks Ms. Her, I don’t need help.” It was such a jaw dropping moment for me (cue the heavenly music). Even though he threw a big tantrum later on in the day, the small victory still made me rejoice. The small victories are telling me that something in him is changing and it may not be as fast as I want it to, but it is happening. Instead of focusing on the bad, I’m going to choose to celebrate the small victories every day because they count for so much more than I can imagine. Praise God for small, but meaningful victories!

Love Without Limits

Can you think of people in your life right now who are hard to love? Is there solely one person or are there a handful of people you just can’t seem to love the way you should? The bible says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7, but we all know that is easier said than done. Loving people is one of the top things that God consistently calls us to do and it’s probably because He knew it would not be easy.

In this world, we encounter and experience many situations with people that make it difficult for us to soften our hearts to love or to have the courage to love. There are individuals who have strong personalities or bizarre characteristics that can be a turn off if things don’t “click”. There are individuals who have a messy past that you are either scared of getting involved with or getting hurt from. Then, there are the individuals who have hurt you personally and caused you to lose trust in them and others.
As I reflect on myself, I admit that it is a daily struggle to love selflessly without judgement or limitations. There are many people who I struggle to fully love and embrace because of an unpleasant first encounter, a personal situation, or because of what I have heard about them. It is truly convicting when reading through the word and God says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8. I certainly have not been fulfilling that.

There are many times where I have prayed to God to give me a heart that loves people and I thought that one day I would just love people without fear, feeling pain, or being bias, but that is not the case. We need to continuously seek God to understand what love is in order to have a heart that loves people regardless of our pain, fears, and biases. As we seek God we will see that, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives our fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us,” 1 John 4:18-19. The more that we know God, the more that we will understand love as written in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I think that love is a beautiful and powerful thing created by God and IS God. It is truly humbling to know that God calls us to love others with this kind of love.

~God, teach me to have a heart with compassion, courage, and grace that would love without limits.

Praying that these verses would also encourage and give you more insight about loving others.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2


“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13

Family

Before I left for college my mom told my brothers and I to appreciate the time that we had together because the time that we got to live with each other would be short. What she said couldn’t have been more true because time just seems to keep moving faster. Even though I love Nyack and I enjoy being out here in New York, my heart does long for my family. There have been some hard times being away from home, especially when someone was sick or hurt, but I have learned to put my family in the hands of God. I learned to trust and depend on Him to take care of and provide for them. I miss my family, but being out in New York has also been a blessing from God. My family may be far, but He has blessed me with new friendships and people that love me like family too.

This summer was so busy and it seemed to go by so fast that I did not get to hangout with the family too much. It makes me sad reflecting on it, but I will look forward to the time when I can be with them again! They are always on my mind and I couldn’t be more thankful for the family that God gave me. I’m so proud of each and every single one of them. I love and miss them dearly.

The best parents ever! They work sooooo hard and they always treat me like a princess, even when I am so undeserving of it all. They always want the best for me and are my biggest supporters.

Early in the summer when we went to the movies together!

Sam and I both got internships at our mom’s work place this summer so we car pulled all summer. I really enjoyed those car rides with him and I miss him dearly. I know God is doing great things in and through him at TFC though.

It was such a blessing to go to HLUB with my brothers and to see the different stages of our lives.

On my birthday I begged Elvin to make a cover for me and he flat out said, "No". I was kind of sad, but the next day he surprised me and made a cover with one my favorite songs at the moment (Love Yourself by Justin Bieber). It was seriously the sweetest thing ever and I was so touched!

Took the little ones to eat Mc Donalds after church. I went to order food and told them to find a table, but when I came back they just found a table with three seats, does that make any sense, there were four of us lol! Love and miss these boys sooo much!

Kayden will forever be my baby!

Grandma is always the one who is most excited when I get back and is always the saddest when I leave. Love her so much!

Camping

The one thing I always want to do every summer is to go camping and I got to do that this past weekend! There were so many memories that were made on this trip and I truly appreciate every single person who was on it. I was also able to learn a lot and experience a couple things for the first time.

This is the amazing group that I went camping with. The guys are so knowledgeable about the outdoors and if a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion ever occurred then I know I would be safe in their hands. Our ladies are also really smart and tough as well. Overall, it was great getting to know everyone better and being able to see different sides of people.

These are the people that I got to ride with! Good music and good talks.

Setting up our tent. It was so funny because when Julie pulled out the directions, the papers were so old that it looked like a treasure map. That gave us a good laugh. Our tent was pretty old and the hardest one to set up, but we still got it up!

As I said, I experienced some things for the first time and one of those things was catching a fish! This was the first fish I ever caught and I’m super excited and proud of it. Before I caught this fish I lost a hook, two other fishes, and while trying to help me, Chu’s sandal started to flow downstream. Luckily, Eric was able to grab it! When I brought the fish over to Yengers and Chu, it fell off of the hook and I kept insisting that they put it back on the hook before I took a picture. They wouldn’t, so I ended up holding it and it kept squirming in my hands. I was holding the fish so tight because I didn’t want it to keep wiggling around (sorry fishy).

While on the trip, I also got to practice shooting guns. It wasn’t my first time, but I still learned a lot of new things. The shotgun was heavier than I remembered it to be, but it was still fun to shoot. I didn’t hit any of the clay disks, but it’s okay because they said that my follow through was getting better. We also got to try Hluby and Danny’s handguns and they were scarier and harder to shoot because they were smaller and lighter. It felt like the gun was going to fly out of my hands and afterwards you don’t even really see where you shot at. Shooting was definitely an experience, but they are dangerous and people really do need to be educated about them. I really appreciate the mini gun lesson that the guys gave us.

One of my favorite parts about the trip was when we stayed up playing mind games around the campfire. Most of the girls either knew the game or caught on pretty fast, but the guys had a little more trouble catching onto the games. It was definitely a hilarious and memorable moment. Whenever I see the guys, I’m tempted to ask, “I’m thinking of a color, what is it?”  

Something else that I experienced for the first time was using nature as a bathroom. I don’t have any pictures of that, but it was definitely a funny experience. It wasn’t too crazy, but I just remember laughing every time us girls went to the bathroom. The night trips were the most hilarious, Esther simply cracks me up.

On the way back we had some car issues because Danny’s breaks just completely died. We were stuck on the side of the road for a bit, but some of us ended up heading back first. In the end, everyone got home safely and the weekend camping trip came to an end.

I’ll end the post with this picture because it was something that we were all looking forward to on our way back. The story behind this sign of a flying deer is quite humorous.

HLUB 2016

Hlub 2016 holds a special place in my heart for various reasons. The last time I was able to attend Hlub was in 2009 as an attendee. Of course, I was not an attendee this year, but I was blessed to go as a staff member. As a volunteer and staff member I feel like the conference goes by so much faster now. I got into Chicago on Saturday and in a blink of an eye it was already the end of the conference. I wanted time to slow down so that I could take part in what Hlub had to offer, but the busy work in the office and the random jobs I did kept me busy. Either way, it was a blessing to serve with the staff and volunteers to make the conference go as smooth as possible for the attendees. I was not able to take as many pictures as I wanted, but I am going to enjoy the ones that I did get to take!

Early morning flights with Yengers!

The first thing that I got to do once I landed was go to Lake Michigan with my mom’s side of the family! It was so spontaneous, but worth it!

Eating late at night and staying up to work. The struggle was real.

West Coast VS East Coast! West was down by 3 points and there were only 3 minutes left, but the boys on our team clutched it and scored 3 points! We tied!!! I’m still so amazed and shocked!

NYACKers!!! Special people in my life.

Shane & Shane!

Precious people that I got to see again!

The DHAY youth ladies and I.

The registration team, it was a blessing to get to know these hardworking ladies. They are so sweet!

Oh boy, Vincent got hurt on the first day of Hlub, but thankfully it was not anything too crucial. Nonetheless, I was so happy that the four of us were there together. We all had our own roles with the conference, Elvin and Vincent were attendees, Sam was a volunteer, and I was a Staff member. God has been so good to my family and I’m so thankful that He chose to use us to serve Him.

At the airport for FOREVER! Our flight kept getting delayed because of the weather so instead of landing in CO around 9pm on Saturday night we landed at 4am on Sunday morning!

Of course, the first thing we did after we finally woke up was grab lunch!

Hlub great and I’m excited to hear how God has touched the lives of all who were there!

Blessings!

DELILAH

This year at Hlub 2016 there were almost 2,000 people which included attendees, chaperones, volunteers, and staff, but there was one little girl who was not able to make it. This young girl was Delilah Lor; she was a 12 year old girl who was extremely excited to come to Hlub that she even packed her bags two weeks in advance. The night before her youth group was going to road trip down to Chicago she encountered some health complications and was soon declared brain dead. Sadly, on Sunday, July 17th at 5:15pm she took her last breath. Many of us began Hlub with heavy hearts for Delilah, her twin sister, her family, and friends, but thankfully God is still good.

Even though many of us didn’t know Delilah we cried for her and wished so badly that she could be here with us all. Still, God’s will is better than ours and she is with Him now. I thank God for giving the Menomonie youth group the strength to still come to Hlub, but now that it is over and they are home they still have to face the reality of Delilah’s passing. Whoever stumbles across this post, I hope that you would send prayers to Delilah’s family and friends. I’m positive that it would be much needed right now.

Delilah may have just been a 12 year old girl to people who heard the news, but to me her story plays a greater role. I believe that God used Delilah to help remind us of how short life can be and how we need to share the Gospel and love to those around us. The loss of Delilah also truly showcased how God’s supremacy reigns true and in every situation He is still God. Delilah’s life was precious and I’m sure she was a blessing to all who knew her.


God, please comfort and give peace to her family and friends right now. I pray that they would cling to you as you reveal your purpose for this and that they would know your joy even in this devastating situation. Amen.

22

In the words of Taylor Swift, “I’m feeling 22!”

When I think about it, 22 years came by so fast. I still feel like I am 18, but when I see myself in pictures I am not the 18 year old girl who was fresh out of high school anymore. There were so many life lessons that were learned and so many things I discovered about myself, I’m excited to know that there are still many more things to experience and discover. God willing, I look forward to what is to come.

Honestly, I also imagined my 22 year old self to be different. I thought I would be done with college, dating, a lot more confident, and possibly even overseas. I certainly feel so far from what I imagined and planned for myself, but there is a peace that I am exactly where God wants me. Even though I am not up to speed with the timeline of this world, I know that God’s timeline is so much better. I trust that there are great things waiting for me.

The top three things I am grateful for as I turn 22:

1. My family who showers me with unconditional love.
2. God’s persistent and consistent pursuit of my heart.
3. The simple fact that I am saved by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Next year, when i turn 23, I wonder how I am going to be or what I am going to be doing, but until then, I want to embrace 22. My birthday is also a reality check that I can’t be 21 forever ;) It’s time to keep moving on with my life.


~Thank you God for 22 years of life!

They Tied the Knot

One of the greatest joys in life is being able to see my dear friends find the one they love and then get married! Deciding to tie the knot is such a beautiful thing and it definitely is a blessing from the Lord. On June 18, 2016 I had the privilege to witness and participate in a childhood friend’s wedding. Meet Bao, the lovely bride!

Bao is someone who has such a kind and genuine heart. Whenever I talk to her I feel as though I have her 110% attention. I think that is just one of the many ways she portrays her intentional heart towards people. Toudo, her husband, is just the perfect guy for Bao and compliments her so well. This couple has so much zeal for the Lord. Praying that their marriage will be filled with a joy so deeply rooted in God that it would prevail during the good and bad times.

Just a couple shots that we had at Bao’s surprise bachelorette getaway!

Bao looked so stunning on the big day!! Just a sneak peek of one of the wedding pictures!

Luckily, Bao was able to stay for a whole week after the wedding, but because she was now a wife and a nyab we hardly got to see her. Thankfully, we were able to squeeze in lunch for an hour and a half. After we said our good-byes, I got into Cynthia’s car and started bawling! I didn’t cry at the wedding so I guess it was time to finally let those babies fall. I was extremely sad because I knew that nothing would ever be the same again, but I was extremely happy because Bao was starting a new chapter in her life. It was such a bittersweet moment. Even though there was a flood of emotions, I’ll always remembers Bao’s beaming smile, she was so happy through everything. I pray that she’ll always keep that smile on her face.

Probably our last picture with Bao for a while.

*****

On June 18, 2016, another one of my dear friends from college also got married! It was with such regret that I couldn’t make it. Meet Mx, the one-of-a-kind bride.

Mx, has been there from the beginning of my college years and I even got to room with her for two years. There are no words that can express how much I love, care, and appreciate this girl. She was with me during some of my toughest and greatest times. She has seen me cry, given me hugs, and made me laugh till I cried as well. She is so compassionate, selfless, and has such a servant heart. Chuchi, her husband, takes such good care of her and I trust that he will continue to take care of her until the end. Even though I couldn’t make it to her wedding, I’m blessed that she’ll be up at Nyack again with me next year. I want to treasure all of the time I have with her before we’re off doing our own things after Nyack.

This is Mai and I with Mx on the day she got engaged!! We were so thrilled for her and Chuchi!

Since I didn’t get to go to the wedding, Mx gave me a little sneak peek at some of her wedding pictures. Gosh, she was such a gorgeous and breathtaking bride. I can only imagine how much more beautiful she was in person.

Praying that God would bless their marriage and remind them of the richest of loves and blessings when times are tough.


 These two ladies are so special, no wonder they both married pastors. It makes me so happy to know that these ladies will be serving alongside their husbands in ministries that God has set aside for them.

"Keep it Shut" by Karen Ehman

Main Idea: Lace our words with grace and speak with discernment.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

All About HIm

God just somehow seems to keep moving through my life with grace and mercy. When I think of the Lord that I love and serve, I am put in a place where I am humbled and reminded of how little I truly am in comparison to Him. My successes are because of Him and my failures are redeemed because of Him, everything is about Him and never about me or because of me. 

1 Timothy 1:15

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came to the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst.” 1 Timothy 1:15

"Faith to see God as a Good Father"

"Sometimes God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we would like. The truth is that God wouldn’t be a good Father if He gave us everything we wanted. In fact, one of the reasons He is good is because there are a LOT of times He doesn’t give us what we ask for. As long as we hold onto our earthly treasures, we will never be able to receive all that He has for us. Often, in His withholding, He is releasing our grip on this world to open our hands and make room for more of His blessings and more of Himself. Even when God is the furthest thing from our minds and choices, He is always ordering things on the timeline of the universe to be the best-case scenario in the end for us. How incredibly undeserving we are! ~ “Faith to see God as a Good Father” by Cara Cobble Trantham

Kaaterskill Falls

Pictures simply won't do it justice. It was definitely an eventful day today, but I’m so thankful that I got to experience it with these ladies.

Be Grateful

Lately, my mind has been consumed with so many worldly concerns that I have been mumbling, grumbling, and complaining about everything. Not only have I been complaining, but I have been stressing myself out as well. A couple days ago, I was thinking about my finances and about all the things I needed money for. On top of financial worries, I was getting overwhelmed again because I still needed to get my projects, papers, and homework turned in, typical college life stuff. While I was complaining and worrying about everything, I simply forgot about the joy, peace, and love that God offers me. There are so many things to be thankful for. I may not have all the money I want right now, but at least I have a job. To be honest, I struggle a lot with being grateful, especially to God. I tend to focus a lot on what I don’t have and what I need/want more of. I want to pursue a life of joy, but I can’t because I am constantly thinking about my selfish needs/wants. If I am just thankful for what I have, I can be at peace and be able to enjoy life for what it is. When I look at my life, I have much more than what is necessary anyways.

Something that I have been trying to do is remind myself of the things I am grateful for. Randomly throughout the day, I ask myself, “What are you grateful for right now?” The answer ranges from something little to big and serious to silly. Whenever I am done answering the question, I find that there is a smile on my face. When I think of the things I am grateful for, my attitude and mood starts to change for the better. It is great to remind ourselves daily of things we are grateful for because that is how quickly we forget about them. In the process of being grateful, God also receives all the praise and glory because we would not have anything without God. What better way to praise and glorify the goodness and faithfulness of God in our lives than to proclaim all the great things He has blessed us with. I think it is amazing how being grateful can change our heart and soul. It can be easy to get caught up with complaining, but the negativity does not change anything. In fact, it actually makes us feel worse. If you are like me and you need to actively remind yourself of things you are grateful for, then I encourage you to get a little journal and start making a list! A grateful heart truly does wonders. For the past couple of days, I have been making my own list. I find that I have been complaining less, stressing out less, trusting more in God, and smiling more.

Right now, these are just a couple of things I am grateful for …

1.       Being able to wear sandals because of the warm weather.
2.       A dad who loves me and does so much for me.
3.       Food in the cafe.


“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Conquering Mountains

Matthew 17:20 ESV He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

In our lives we have mountains that make us think, “How am I going to conquer that?” When we’re at the bottom looking up, our mountains seem unconquerable and they shadow over us making it seem impossible. For the last couple of years, my mountains to conquer have been the state tests for the Education Department. I was completely horrified and anxious about having to take a test to get into the program, taking four more to student teach, and then having to pass the final one to graduate. Oh boy, I definitely allowed my mountains to let me live in fear.  

I don’t think anyone knew how scared, more like how terrified, I was to take them, but I was so scared of failing that I held off my tests until the very last minute (not a good thing and I have definitely suffered some consequences). I didn’t think I was capable of passing them so I didn’t even want to try. In the last couple of months I received a lot of words of encouragement and prayers that I finally gained the courage to take my tests. Today, I can say that I PASSED all of my tests on the first try! I have conquered my mountains! All praise and glory to God though. The Lord has blessed me with faithful and encouraging friends and family to walk alongside me and I am grateful for them as well. I am overwhelmed with joy and His work in my life. Through all of this, I have learned that God is on my side and that He will finish what He has started. He’s been equipping me this whole time, I just needed to take action.

I’m sure that there are going to be many more mountains in the future, but I know that I can make mountains move with the authority and strength God has blessed me with. 

A late post, but I still had to share about how good God has been in my life!

Blessings to you all!

Hit Your Knees

“At some point in our lives, the best we can do isn’t good enough. Our best solutions, ideas, and efforts aren’t good enough. That’s when we need to hit our knees and trust God to do what only God can do. After all, prayer is the difference between the best you can do and the best God can do. And that’s a big difference!”

Seriously, I cannot even begin to explain how much my prayer life has changed ever since I started praying on my knees. Before I came to college it was an area in my faith that was dry and fruitless, but God continued to put prayer on my heart. For the past 14 days and for the next 26 days, I will be going through “Draw the Circle, The 40 Day Prayer Challenge” by Mark Batterson. From the readings, Batterson consistently encourages the readers to “hit their knees” (to pray and pray on their knees).

Growing up, I heard of stories about people praying on their knees and I tried it a couple of times because I thought that it would be “cool”. As I got older and began to really struggle in my prayer life, I felt the urge to “hit my knees”, but I just didn’t do it. I don’t know why, maybe it was because I didn’t see the point of praying on my knees and thought that laying down on my back (half asleep) was good enough. With that being said, I remember the first time I truly did hit my knees and prayed.

I was a sophomore in college and going through “a lot”. My sophomore year was actually probably one of my hardest years and when I think back, all I can say was that it was “dark times”. I was not doing my best academically, I was busy with ASF, and I had the lowest self-esteem at the time. Everyday I would wake up and literally telling myself I was not good enough. I was swamped, defeated, and so confused. I talked to all my friends for advice and I tried to figure out my solutions, but I realized that the one person that I did not go to was God (well, I did pray, but I definitely was not praying the right prayers). I was also losing a lot of sleep because my mind was so anxious. Finally, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I hit my knees and I remember telling God that I absolutely didn’t know what to do anymore. I was at my ends and I was so desperate for God. I had no idea how to solve my problems or love myself. Once I hit my knees it was the most peace and affirmation I had received in a while.
After that experience, I tried to make it a habit to pray on my knees whenever I could. Whenever I couldn’t sleep I would get out of bed at 3 or 4 in the morning and pray on my knees. When I was done praying I would be able to fall asleep. When I think about it, I used to never pray on my knees, but now it has become something so normal to me. Whenever I feel God calling me to “hit my knees”, I do it. I hit my knees when I am defeated and when I have been overjoyed by the faithfulness of God. I cannot agree more with Batterson’s urge and push for readers to “hit their knees”. A prayer life that starts and ends on the knees is so life changing and should be experienced by everyone.


Truthfully, I thought I had grown a lot in my prayer life and that I was done, but I learned that I will never be done growing in that aspect. There is so much to prayer that you cannot just read or learn about it. Growing in prayer means taking action and actually praying. It has been a beautiful and life changing experience so far and I look forward to more intimate encounters with God through praying on my knees. May you be encouraged and blessed.