Today, I had control issues and I wasn’t in the best mood. I could see it affecting the people around me as well. It sounds kind of silly, but when my heart is overwhelmed with strong emotions I know it’s time to hit the Bible. When I’m upset there’s a line that always flashes in my head, “I need more Jesus, right now.” Today was one of those days where I just needed more Jesus. 

I went to my bible and flipped to where I last left off in my readings and started reading. I wasn’t exactly looking for an answer, I just wanted to be in His word. I have come to realize that it’s in the moments when you least expect it that Jesus answers and comforts you. While reading in Matthew about the betrayal of Jesus, His crucifixion, and resurrection Jesus reminded me that He is not only my savior, but my King. He has authority over me and everything in my life. If I have authority/control issues it’s because I haven’t truly allowed Christ to reign in every aspect of my life. It’s kind of like a chain of commands. If I acknowledge God’s authority over my life then I will acknowledge the authority He has also placed in my life; my parents, my future husband, my boss, the law, etc. 

When I’m not in control I feel like, “Authority threatens my freedom. It says I am not in charge, not the boss of my own life. Yet, as Christians, we aren’t meant to live under the authority of our own rule. We have a King!” I am reminded that I just can’t do as I please all the time. If I didn’t have authority in my life then I would definitely be living a selfish and carefree life right now and that would be absolute chaos. 

I love weddings and celebrating two people who have committted themselves to each other under the covenant of God.

Wedding pictures from Kaxee & Eric’s wedding! So in love with these pictures and these people! 💕

Not too long ago I had this desire to read the whole bible because I had never done it before. I was really nervous and doubtful if it would be possible and I don’t like to start something if I don’t think I’ll be able to follow through until the end. I wanted to give up before I even started, but praise God for making this desire grow in my heart. I couldn’t shake it off so I dove right into reading.

Another huge thing I struggled with was deciding how I was going to go about this. I couldn’t decide if I was going to start from the Old Testament and read through to the New Testament OR read them both at the same time. I didn’t think reading them both at the same time was going to make sense, but I ended up doing that and I honestly like it! Actually, I really enjoy it! I read 2 chapters from the Old Testament and then 2 Chapters in the New Testament. Some days, I really want to read more, but I’m trying to slow myself down so that I can really let it sink in instead of speeding through it just to get it done. I want this to be a meaningful experience and not something I try to complete as quick as I can.

With all of that being said, this journey hasn’t been a perfect or easy one. I have days where I open the bible and then close it because I’m tired and then there are days where I don’t even open it. Even though I have these days where I feel like I’m failing, I really trust that God will build discipline in my heart if I just don’t give up. So, here I am, at the beginning of my imperfect journey, but I look forward to growth as I continue to delve into His word and see Him for all that He is.

Also, I’ve been reading through Matthew and I forgot how mind blowing some of these parables are, like seriously. I question myself and wonder if I would have been able to understand them if I had heard them from Jesus himself. My prayer is that I would have been one of the ones who listened and heard the message of the Gospel. But, I hope that you will enjoy them and be in awe of some of these parables too!

The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13: 3-9)

“Consider the sower who went out to sow. As he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seed fell on rocky ground where it didn’t have much soil, and it grew up quickly since the soil wasn’t deep. But when the sun came up, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns came up and chocked it. Still other seeds fell on good ground and produced fruit: some a hundred, some sixty, and some thirty times what was sown. Let anyone who has ears listen.”

The Parable of the Sower Explained (Matthew 13: 18-23)

“So listen to the parable of the sower: When anyone hears the word about the kingdom and doesn’t understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the one sown along the path. And the one sown on rocky ground – this is one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy. But he has no root and is short-lived. When distress or persecution comes because of the word, immediately he falls away. Now the one sown among the thorns – this is one who hears the word, but the worries of this age and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. But the one sown on the good ground – this is one who hears and understands the word, who does produce fruit and yields: some a hundred, some sixty, some thirty times what was sown.”

The Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds (Matthew 13: 24-30)

“The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while people were sleeping, his enemy came, sowed weeds among the wheat, and left. When the plant sprouted and produced grain, then the weeds also appeared. The landowner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Master, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? The where did the weeds come from?’

“‘An enemy did this,’ he told them.

“‘So, do you want us to go and pull them up?’ the servants asked him.

“‘No,’ he said. ‘When you pull up the weeds, you might also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At harvest time I’ll tell the reapers: Gather the weeds first and tie them in bundles to burn them, but collect the wheat in my barn.”

Jesus Interprets the Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds (Matthew 13: 37-43)

“The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world; and the good seed – these are the children of the kingdom. The weeds are the children of the evil one, and the enemy who sowed them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels. Therefore, just as the weeds are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will gather from his kingdom all who cause sin and those guilty of lawlessness. They will throw them into the blazing furnace where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in their Father’s kingdom. Let anyone who has ears listen.”

Now that my friends have officially shared their wonderful news, I can finally post this!! I’m so excited for Baby Xiong to arrive and I’m so thankful that I get to share in their joy as they await their biggest blessing yet! ! It’s so cool to be in a season where all my friends are getting married and having kids. It’s kind of crazy at the same time, but life truly keeps moving on. This was also a really cute way to announce it and I was truly caught off guard!

Our dear friends got married!!! Chu and I love them so much! But seriously, how could you not love these two?

I loved hosting these two beautiful souls! They’re both so sweet and adventurous. I love how the Lord brings people into my life and how He strengthens my relationships through His love! Thank you Jesus for friends and sisters!!

Some of my good friends with the guys who make our lives even brighter. This was an amazing day because us ladies have dreamed about this day for forever and we finally did it! We got all of us and our significant others in the same room. We don't know when we'll be able to do this next, but I'm going to treasure every opportunity I can get with these people.

I, Isaac, take Thee, Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias 

This was a sweet, honest, convicting, and thought provoking book about marriage. In this season of my life it has given me much insight. Below, you’ll find some important things I took from this book and if you don’t plan to read this book soon then enjoy some quotes because it might just change your mind. It’s hard to not just quote this whole book! haha

 1. Parental blessing is vital. 

“While not a guarantee, parental counsel and blessing is nevertheless the way of wisdom and must be seriously considered.” 

 “The chances are that if you marry somebody in violation of your parents’ will, you are playing a high-stakes game as you enter the future. Any time you violate an authority that has been put in place by God, you need to be twice as sure you are doing the right thing.” 

 2. Have the will to love. 

“Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you will to love somebody, you can.” 

 “Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both.” 

 “You must choose to lay down your life in the best sense of the term. You surrender your will to the will of God but an act of commitment and in the power of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit of God. That is the indispensable beginning. No one likes to begin life with a funeral. But in a sense, that is where marriage begins. You choose to die to yourself and to bring to life a new affection.”

3. Serve one another with kindness. (A really convicting and refreshing chapter for me.)

“There may be reasons to disagree. There may be reasons to struggle. After all, two wills are merging into one. There are constant compromises and surrenders demanded, but there is never a reason to be unkind, particularly when you are tampering with the very fragile nature of a person’s sensitivities.”

“Kindness is the touch, the look, the beat of the heart, and the act that seeks to cherish and guard the one to whom you say, ‘I love you.’“

4. Remain Pure

“Romans 13:14, ‘Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.’ In other words, do not put yourself in a place where you can fall.”

“The Lord reminds us that as physical as the sexual act is, the marriage bed remains undefiled because His presence sanctifies the act. That is the privilege of a man and woman coming together in consummating the physicality of love, representing the spiritual bond between the two.”

5. Prepare yourself.

“Ask yourself if you truly have the maturity to sacrifice your selfishness for the responsibility that lies ahead.”

“He is the bridegroom coming for the Bride, and He will come when the Bride is ready for Him. If marriage is as grand as the Bible intended it to be, then it is worth it to wait until you are ready for that right moment … for the right one.”

6. Be prayerful.

“It is a self-evident truth that a person who truly prays and seeks God’s wisdom in life recognizes the sovereignty of God and is committed to seeking God’s wisdom in life’s important choices. It is important to understand that it is a prayer life that builds character that honors God, not one that brandishes its spirituality or seeks to use prayer as a credential or a badge of honor.”

“A genuine prayer life is one that is constantly broken before God. Such a person’s life demonstrates the humility that is born out of brokenness.”

“Prayer is not a substitute for action, but prayer undergirds action with the strength that makes the difference.”

7. Face reality and each other.

“Marriage brings face to face two people committed to God whose face is distinctively revealed in each as they see each other in the light of God shining on each other in the light of God, shining on each countenance. God brought them close to each other because each was the other’s answer from God, to rescue them from being alone.”

“Marriages that are Christ-centered are beautiful to behold and wonderful to enjoy. Romance as God intended it can last a lifetime.” 

Finally, a special thanks to my senior pastor for letting me borrow his book for free. haha

I appreciate this man right here. For the two weeks of family visitation, thank you for your sacrifice, patience, and love 💕

My parents had a graduation party for my brother and I. I had family from CA and MN come, which is rare! It’s hard to see everyone all together, but it warmed my heart to see everyone come together for my brother and I. I felt even more loved when I received gifts from the family members that couldn’t come. It feels special to know that they’re thinking of me and celebrating with me even from afar.  It truly was a busy weekend (seriously, my left eye is twitching from lack of sleep), but it was one filled with love and joy. I can’t thank my family enough for everything. Family time is precious.

24

It’s a blurry photo, but the memory is pretty vivid. I loved that I got to celebrate my 24th birthday with family from both my mom and dad’s side of family. Thanks everyone for all the love!

Things I’m grateful for at 24
1. My fiancé 
2. My family
3. My friendships
4. My church family/community

I guess to sum it all up, I’m grateful for my relationships. Although I’m so undeserving of everyone in my life they truly make life sweeter and enjoyable. I am blessed beyond measures with their presence.

Women's Book Study

At the beginning of the year some of the young adult ladies at my church decided that we wanted to do a book study together. I was so excited because for once our church actually had young adult girls! Most of us went off to college so we were gone for a while, but we all recently came back and so I was super hyped for this book study. I have also never joined one before so I was definitely looking forward to reading the same book and then meeting up to discuss it. Most importantly, there’s accountability with our reading and in our spiritual lives.

The book we decided to read was “Disciplines of a Godly Women” by Barbara Hughes. I know, upon hearing the word discipline it can be a turnoff, but the book is truly filled with words of wisdom and LOTS of grace. At the beginning of the book, Hughes addresses our wordly idea of spiritual discipline and gives us a new outlook on it

“Let’s face it: Many of us think of spiritual discipline in terms of ‘living the letter of the Law’ or as a series of draconian rules that no one could possibly live up to. Such legalism seems to us a path to frustration and spiritual death.

But true discipline is a far cry from legalism - thank God! The difference lies in motivation: Legalism is self-centered; discipline is God-centered. The legalistic heart says, ‘I will do this thing to gain merit with God.’ The disciplined heart says, ‘I will do this because I love God and want to please Him.’ The true heart of discipline is relationship - a relationship with God.”

She splits discipline into five categories: soul, character, relationships, ministry, and grace and within those categories, Hughes breaks it down even more specifically.

Soul

• Discipline of the Gospel - The Source of Godliness

By this gospel you are saved… . Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures. 1 CORINTHIANS 15: 2-3

• Discipline of Submission - The Posture of Godliness

At the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. PHILIPPIANS 2:10-11

• Discipline of Prayer - Submission’s Lifeline

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kind of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. EPHESIANS 6:18

• Discipline of Worship - Submission’s Celebration

Therefore, I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. ROMANS 12:1

Character

• Discipline of Mind - Submission’s Education

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. ROMANS 12:2

• Discipline of Contentment - Submission’s Rest

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord. PSALM 38:9

• Discipline of Propriety - Submission’s Behavior

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. PHILIPPIANS 1:27

• Discipline of Perseverance - Submission’s Challenge

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. HEBREWS 12:1

Relationships

• Discipline of the Church - Submission’s Framework - God’s Family

I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. 1 TIMOTHY 3:14-15

• Discipline of Singleness - Submission’s Framework - Singleness

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17

• Discipline of Marriage - Submission’s Framework - Marriage

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man t be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” GENESIS 2:18

• Discipline of Nurturing - Submission’s Caress

Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living. GENESIS 3:20

Ministry

• Discipline of Good Deeds - Submission’s Industry

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  EPHESIANS 2:10

• Discipline of Witness - Submission’s Commission

For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard. ACTS 4:20

• Discipline of Giving - Submission’s Generosity

It is more blessed to give than to receive. ACTS 20:35

Grace

• Grace of Discipline

But by grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 1 CORINTHIANS 15:10

Spiritual discipline is essential in pursuing God and godliness, “None of us is born righteous; none of us naturally seeks God or is reflexively good. We need an abundance of God’s grace and help to discipline our lives.” I’ve been learning about how disciplining my soul, character, relationships, and ministries are ways to help me pursue God and His characteristics even more. In many ways, I’m also learning that in order to die to my flesh I do need these spiritual disciplines. If I ignore to discipline those areas of my life it’ll be harder to fight my sinful desires and we all know it’s a daily battle. Praise God that even in my failures to discipline myself that God’s grace remains steadfast and overflowing though. Hughes’ sweet reminder, “God is not counting your failures against you, and you’re not building a treasury of merit with your success. You are simply trying to bring some discipline to your spiritual life because you know it is what your heavenly Father wants for you. He understands our failures better than we understand our own children’s.”

Sisters, I pray that we will be able to discipline ourselves in the efforts to pursue God and godliness. May the Gospel be our foundation as we submit to God’s will and purpose for our lives. I fully trust that in our pursuit for God’s characteristics that there will be fruits and kingdom growth. In our failures may we receive God’s grace and pick ourselves back up. May we do everything all for the glory of God!

Chu’s family on our mom’s side was just in town, but sadly we didn’t get any pictures with them. It was so nice getting to meet them and spend time with them. His grandparents were so cute and young. His aunts, uncles, and cousins were so welcoming and talkative. I just feel more and more blessed as I get to know his family. I also went tubing for the very first time with them. I was so nervous, but once I got on a tube, I really enjoyed it! It was a busy, but sweet time with them.

Our Conversation: 

Me: Is it weird that they’re calling me Nyab Chu?

Him: Yeah, it’s weird that someone else is using my name, but makes it sound better.

I seriously cracked up. He’s too funny and sweet!

“You cannot follow God and stay where you are at the same time.” - Margaret Feinberg

The "Asking"

This past weekend my fiance’s family came to ask for my hand in marriage. I’ve heard stories about what would happen or what would be talked about from my N.xf. (pastor’s wife) and friends, but honestly, you just won’t know what to expect until you’re in the seat. I found it to be a bittersweet and life changing occasion.

Just wanted to share a few thoughts, experience, and things I’ve learned. My experiences alone won’t be able to fully prepare future bride’s for theirs, but I hope this will be able to give some insight, perspective, and encouragement for those to follow.

1. When Chu and I got engaged we made a prayer list. The “asking” and “Hmong Wedding” was on our list. Start praying early on for this occasion because it will pave a way and prepare everyone’s heart. Prayer makes all the difference!
2. When the groom’s family comes to ask for the bride it truly is much more emotional on the bride’s side of the family. To be very honest, I have never seen my dad cry. I’ve heard his voice tremble when talking about certain things in the past, but he’s always cried behind closed doors. To hear my dad pause, force his words out, and cry is something I’ll never forget. On the other hand, I’ve seen my mom cry before, but it’s definitely different when she’s pouring her heart out for me. My parents declared their love for me and how they would take me back if anything ever happened and I couldn’t be more thankful for them and their love. It’s truly heartbreaking when your parents are giving permission for you to marry into another family and they’re handing you over. To my sisters, if you’re not ready, unsure, or just jumping the gun, please pray about it and hold off until you’re ready. Don’t put your parents in that kind of situation unless you’re positive he’s the one you want to marry and that you’re willing/ready to be a wife and nyab (daughter-in-law). Honestly, whether it’s tears of joy or sorrow you’ll just never forget how your parents cried for you. If your parents don’t cry, don’t worry about it. Their love still runs deep for you, but they were just able to restrain themselves from crying, which I applaud as well because that takes another level of strength.
3. When my future in-laws walked in through the door I was so shy! I felt like I couldn’t look them in the eyes haha. I’m really blessed because I’ve known them for a long time and I feel pretty comfortable around them, but I don’t know why I still felt embarrassed and shy. Honestly, as ready as you are, reality sinks in a little more when your in-laws are sitting next to you, telling your parents they want you as their nyab (sooo touching and really sweet to be called nyab). I’m honored to become a part of their family and I’m excited that my family is growing as our families are becoming one. Ultimately, I’m thankful that they love the Lord, they love their son, and they were willing to come and ask for me.
4. I am sooo thankful everything was handled by the church, the elders, and Xf.(the pastor). Culturally, when the groom’s family goes to ask for the bride, there are many things that occur, but going through the church made it really simple. Our mediator who spoke for both sides of the family did really good with going over the agenda, moving things along, and explaining things to us. Culturally, my dad wouldn’t even have the right to talk and everything would be conveyed through my relatives, but I’m thankful that my parents got to have their say and express their hearts. Everything went smooth, praise God!
5. In the morning, I asked my mom who they were going to invite over, she mentioned a couple of names and I started panicking. I had this thought that if too many people were there and gave their input on the dowry and wedding planning then it would become difficult. Although, I wanted it to be small it ended up being a blessing that my uncles and aunts were there. They solely sat and listened until our mediator opened the floor for marriage advice. Chu and I received some sweet, honest, and funny advice. If they weren’t there than no one would have been there to give us advice and encourage us in this new chapter. Receiving wisdom from the elders in your life is a blessing and should never be dreaded. Thankful to everyone who sacrificed their time and came out to support us.
6. Instead of just coming to ask for me, we technically did our Hmong Wedding too so at the end, Chu and I were confused about what to call our parents. The elders and our uncles didn’t say we had to call them “mom” or “dad” so that made it unclear. We asked our parents what we should do and they said to call them “uncle” and “auntie” until we do the American Wedding. Chu and I don’t want to offend any relatives, but both our parents said to wait till the wedding. I know other parents may think differently so if you’re confused, just ask because they will tell you what their preference is.
7. By the permission of our parents and the elders as witnesses, Chu and I are married! Although that’s the case, it’s a bit awkward because we’re not legally married by the state and law. Chu and I definitely plan to uphold our purity and refrain from calling each other husband and wife until the ceremony has been performed and papers are signed.
8. I know it’s nerve wracking, but try to be as attentive as you can. Remember the words that were said in that room because they’re full of meaning and blessings. A LOT will be said, but it’s worth remembering.
9. I had a box of tissues prepared, but I didn’t even get to use it because someone placed it under the table and I couldn’t find it during the whole thing. Always have a box of tissues, even if you don’t think you’re going to cry and keep track of it. Napkins are not nose-friendly.
10. With all the nerves, you might not have an appetite, but make sure you still eat. You need the energy, but most importantly I think it would be embarrassing if your stomach started growling. That was the one thought that pushed me to swallow food down my throat that day. It seems like a useless tip, but honestly, it’s up to what you want to risk haha.

Whew, that was pretty emotional running through everything in my head again, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to forget an occasion like this. Of course, there was so much more intimate and funny stuff that was said, but sisters, I would love to tell you those things personally. Praying that you would be blessed with the things that were shared. For the sisters who have done this before me, thank you for your stories. For the sisters who have yet to do theirs, it’s normal to be nervous, but everything will be fine.

Just wrapped up my last year celebrating Mother and Father’s day with just my parents. Next year, I’ll have two moms and two dads to celebrate. It’s a good thing and a huge blessing, but it’s just something new to get use to.

My parents are the kindest people I know. They are thoughtful, forgiving, hospitable, and hardworking. Despite growing up with very little and not getting to take full advantage of their education, they have always given my siblings and I security in our lives, physical security, emotional security, and spiritual security. They supported me through my education and have always pushed me to Christ. After working in the education field I started to understand my parents a little bit more, but of course I’ll never fully know until I become a parent myself. Being in charge of little souls can be so unfair sometimes. You love them so much and you want the best for them, but because they’re curious, they’re always pushing boundaries. They break the rules and get upset at you when you discipline them. You’re quick to forgive, but they go back and break your heart in the next moment. You celebrate the smallest success because you want them to feel accomplished. When they’re hurt you want to give them the best comfort you can. There were many days at work when I would think back to my parents. I can only imagine how my parents felt when I treated them with the same horrible treatment I got from some of my students. It was humbling and eye opening to see a bit of the kind of heart my parents and ultimately what God has for me. 

But seriously, a huge thanks to my parents for demonstrating God’s unconditional love to me through their words, actions, and continual guidance. It’s pretty bittersweet, but I praise God that my family is expanding and there are just more people to celebrate!

Lord, allow my eyes to be on you so that I can see the hurt in others. May I show kindness and gentleness to my brothers and sisters. Allow me to be a source of comfort verses another possible battle they have to fight. -Amen

Not everyone is a hugs person, but I wish I could give hugs to my dear brothers and sisters who are hurting in some type of way right now.

Field Day

Wow, the last 8 months have been a HUGE learning experience. Being a teacher assistant has been humbling and rewarding in so many ways. I loved seeing their academic growth and personalities grow as well (even the naughty ones lol).

The last week of school was spirit week and then the last day was field day! The students were definitely ready for a fun-filled day. They looked so cute in their tie dye shirts! I’m definitely gonna miss them! But, I’m also soooo ready for summer break too!

Georgia

Our time in GA was short, but sweet. Congratulations to all the grads!

Make your mother rejoice by

1. Being wise with your speech.

2. Being wise with your path.

3. Being wise with your decisions.

Proverbs 23:15-25

Living a life of wisdom and honoring God makes your mother rejoice. Do you make your mother rejoice? One of my favorite Mother’s Day message.

A Weekend of Celebrations

Vincent’s sweet 16

So crazy how fast time flies, but it’s my greatest blessing as his older sister to see him grow up. He cares deeply about the people around him and truly has a desire for the Lord. My prayer is that he will continue to seek God’s heart and will for his life.

Cynthia’s 24th birthday

For as long as I could remember we always got to celebrate her birthday together, but for the past 5 years we haven’t been able to. It was great getting to celebrate together this year. We also celebrated the wonderful season that we’re in. We’re all engaged! So thankful to be celebrating her life and new seasons together!

The birth of Alenie NtximSiab Thao

What?!?!?! Steph and I grew up together so it’s crazy to think that she’s a mother now, but what a blessing! I’ve always wanted to be an auntie and now I am one! I’m so excited for Alenie and I look forward to seeing how she will just light up our worlds! Alenie, auntie loves you sooo much!

Alin’s 20th Birthday

Such a funny and chill dude. It’s always great to be in his presence cause we’re always laughing. Many blessings, Alin!

Savanah’s Friendship! 

So glad I got to spend a little time with Savanah before she moved. Her absence is definitely going to make a difference.

God's Will Above All Else

Where are you most grateful God didn’t give you what you wanted?

If God gave me everything I thought I wanted, I would definitely not trust in His grace and sovereignty in my life, but in my own abilities. Even if I desired and used all of my efforts to gain something, God could still withhold it from me for the good of His will in my life. Sometimes it’s hard to understand and it doesn’t seem like a good enough reason at the moment, but it actually means everything! Our hearts should always be desiring God’s will for our lives, verses our own will. I am reminded of Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death” and 16:9 “A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” Some of our desires may not be bad, even a good thing, but if there’s a chance of it leading to a path of death, the Lord will intervene. Sometimes it’s a painful intervention and other times it’s a beautiful one, but the Lord will always have your best interest at heart. I know, some days it’s hard to see and believe, but that’s okay. It’s okay to feel the pain, because afterwards when God’s greater will is revealed, it will be worth it. It’s so wonderful that He knows the deep desires of our hearts and He is orchestrating everything in His own timing to work out accordingly to His will. When it happens, it will be beautiful!

Growing up, I was interested in certain people, but nothing ever happened. I was in two relationships that ended with heartaches. The idea of marriage seemed so far away, but today, I am engaged to the sweetest man I know! The closed doors and heartaches were God’s way of saving me, preparing me, and molding me for the man I am now going to marry. I couldn’t be more thankful.

Currently, I am in a season of waiting for a full-time teaching position. I want to start teaching soon, but interviews seem to be failing and I’m not even sure if I will be able to get my teaching license soon. I have such a huge desire to be teaching and a better position would also help with my financial situation right now, but I want to trust that He has something special saved for me. This wonderful position may come soon or it may come after I get my license, but right now His grace and provision in my life is enough for me. This season of waiting has a purpose so I pray that I will be faithful to Him with all that I have while I wait. I know the prize will be worth it.

Sweet Moments

It’s Friday and sometimes you just need to be reminded of sweet moments from the week.

Moment one: I was preparing our book folders for the students and one of them comes up and says, “I wish I was older so that I could help you. When I become a highschooler, I’ll always come down and help you.” Melted my heart! Thanks LB.

Moment two: “You’re pretty!” A little affirmation from a 1st grader  made my day. I wasn’t feeling too pretty that day because I felt sick and looked like Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Thanks, AV.

Well, that’s it! It’s Friday and my brain is fried. I should do this daily so I don’t forget.

There are many women that I admire and respect, but it’s crazy how that admiration can quickly change into jealously or a desire to be accepted by them. It’s definitely because of my insecurities. I want to be like them or I want to be embraced and loved by them. It’s silly and something I never wanted to admit, but it’s a struggle that often makes its way to the surface and affects some of my relationships. Although, I desire to just have a genuine relationship with these sisters, it’s hard to fight off the thoughts that they’re better than me or that their opinions of me is what matters. I find myself trying to please them and perfect myself. In the end, it just becomes awkward. Where’s the genuineness in that? Most importantly, how is this mindset pleasing to the Lord?

The jealousy that I have for my sisters is a sin and not a characteristic of God. Other than my insecurities, it’s because my focus is too much on myself and not on God. The great news (there is always great news with God) is that I can overcome this by being more like Christ. As I become more like Christ, I’ll be able to produce the fruits that I was meant to produce, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and etc. (Galatians 5: 22-23). As these situations occur, the Lord continues to stretch my heart more with love for myself and others. I know I shouldn’t be intimidated or envious of other sisters who are gifted, talented, and excelling in life. I want to be able to celebrate with them and learn from them. When I’m too immersed with the world and not with God I forget that He created us ALL in His image and with the same purpose. I shouldn’t feel threatened or belittled by any of my sisters. I’m also not in charge of placing a value on any of our worth because of our different talents, personalities, and accomplishments. Instead, I’ve been praying that God would change my heart and my mind to cheer and pray for these sisters because I’m running the same race, I want to finish the race with them, and celebrate together.

My simple goals for 2018 are to…

1. keep desiring God

2. honor Him in everything

3. Live in His joy

4. be intentional and genuine

5. travel

6. keep doing the things that I love to do and to discover more things to love.

7. make healthy choices

It’s going to be a busy year, but I’m looking forward to how God is going to continue to stretch and mold me. God is still working in my heart daily to weed lies and unhealthy things out. I’m praying that He’ll fill me up with more of Him so that I can display genuineness in everything that I do. It’s going to be a year where I will really have to be intentional with my time, money, and relationships. Although there may be moments where I’m swamped with responsibilities, I pray that He’ll always be my number one desire, joy, and motivation. I recognize that I constantly fail in being His image barrier, but He is so full of grace and that’s why I am able to pick up my cross daily. Honestly, these are just life goals/values that I want to seal in my heart. I’ll definitely be adding more.