No RaGRETS

In this season of my life, God has been tremendously working in me. In the past couple of weeks, God has been specifically revealing to me the regret in my life. There were many things in my life that I regretted. There were things I wish I had never said or done, but recently there was someone I regretted meeting. Going through my first break up, I told myself that I would not regret anything, but as the weeks went on and in the midst of pain, I found myself regretting everything. I found myself wishing I never met him, wishing I never loved, wishing that I was never hurt. As much as I wanted to be thankful for meeting this person, there was just so much pain and tears that I would have rather avoided it all.

A quote says “Better to have loved than not at all” and I would joke with my friends and say, “I disagree, I’d rather not have loved at all”. Now that was my regret speaking for me. At first, I thought it was just a funny joke, but then I realized that something deep down inside of me really meant it. If I knew how much pain I was going to be in after a break up, I would have chosen to not have loved to begin with. My regret was preventing me from being thankful for the work of God in my life. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for it is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” I realized that it was also holding me back from seeing what God wanted to teach me through this situation.

Because I met this person and experienced my first break up, I learned that I had many things to be thankful for. I was able to experience and know God on a whole new level. I was able to see God mold me through the pain and hurt while revealing His glory to me. He drew me near to His heart and in the process I saw His astounding goodness, faithfulness, and steadfast love for me. God also reminded me that my happiness and joy did not come from being in a relationship with someone. A friend recently asked if I regretted dating. If she had asked me a couple weeks ago my answer would have been yes. Now, my answer is no, I do not regret meeting or dating this person.


Heartbreaks are painful and I believe during the healing process there is regret because the glory of God is not yet seen in our suffering. Trust me, He will reveal Himself more and more. Once we see the glory of God in our pain and realize how much greater His will is, we will no longer regret anything that has happened in our lives. It is great because our God does nothing in vain and there is a purpose for everything we experience, both good and bad. When we are able to ask ourselves what we have learned from everything, then we are already walking towards a thankful and wiser heart. I am rejoicing because I can honestly say that I am no longer in a season of regret, but a season of thanks.

More than Just a Nice Girl

I was always conscious about what people thought of me. Sometimes (or a lot of the times) I was guilty of trying to live up to peoples’ expectations of how I should be or act. A friend encouraged me when she said, “I think you’re growing out of being a nice girl and really stepping into who God has called you to be”.

Many times I have been labeled as the nice girl, someone who does no wrong and is always happy. I was seen as someone who was soft and gentle, but that image and perception is not entirely right. I sin, I get hurt, I get mad, and I am not that gentle. Sometimes we have a certain “image” that we have been given and we feel as though we need to live and act a certain way because of it.

Sometimes I found myself trying to react to a situation the way I thought others thought I should be reacting. Being labeled as the “nice girl” has kept me from feeling and expressing certain things, such as anger. I tried to avoid showing my anger around others because I thought that someone who was “nice” should never be upset. I also thought I would be God honoring if I avoided it, but to be God honoring means to be honest with yourself and with God about how you feel and then trust that He will come through for you. Our labels will keep us from feeling and doing certain things because we think that it doesn’t match up with “who we are”, but we’re actually just limiting ourselves.  Someone may be labeled as an athletic girl, but that does not mean they always have to be tough and cannot like make-up or enjoy dressing up.

Let me ask you this, what do you think you are labeled as? Are you also labeled as the nice girl or perhaps you’re labeled as the mean girl, pretty girl, fat girl, flirty girl, shy girl, etc., maybe you feel like a combination of more than one label, but the list goes on and on. We are constantly working to change our labels or live up to them, but no label will ever truly define us. Whatever you feel or believe your label is I pray that you will throw it out the window and accept this truth; YOU ARE THE BELOVED DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH KING. It is not a label, it is a fact, a truth that is unchangeable. Doesn’t that sound comforting and relieving? Often times we take the words people say about us and tell ourselves that is who we are. We allow their words to define us, but we are so much more than those worldly labels.  The only thing that should define us is the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross. This truth will set you free from your labels and burdens of being something or someone you’re not.

If you are struggling with this, know that you are not the only one. In fact, many people if not all of us struggle with this, but few will own up to it. We want to be liked and loved by people and that is because we are wired to desire deep and intimate relationships. Our desires for friendship and love should never put us in a place where we belittle and disregard ourselves though. The relationships that we have here on earth, in fact, should do the opposite. They should encourage, affirm, build us up, and allow us to grow and pursue Christ together. Our relationships should never make us feel unworthy, insecure, or invaluable because that is not the reason why God created us to have them. He blessed us with the opportunity to have relationships with one another so we can better understand His deep love for us by loving the people around us.


I do not think my friend realized how much she spoke into my life when she said that, but it made me reflect on a lot of things about who I was. Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” I confess that I wanted to please people and I was striving to be someone everyone would like and love by being a nice girl, but I discovered that I was more than just a nice girl. I am a beloved daughter of God and I only need His approval. I want to live life as His precious child and genuinely express myself and serve Him wholeheartedly. My heart is no longer striving, but I’m at rest and at peace with who I am. My prayer is that you will be encouraged to find rest and peace with who you are as well.

A Special Calling

I have been so blessed to be the older sister of five sweet brothers and Trustin is one of them. From a young age I have noticed that he has such a thoughtful and generous heart and I have been able to continue to see him grow into a fine young boy. I am always amazed at his love for people and how mature he is for being so young.

During the summer I asked him, “If you were to go to jail, what would be the reason why?”
I don’t know what I expected the answer to be, but he answered and said, “It would be because I believed in Jesus. In other countries people aren’t allowed to believe in Jesus.”

Immediately, I thought that this kid could be speaking prophetic words into his own future. Today is a special day because it is Trustin’s 12^th birthday, Happy Birthday, I love you!

Besides Trustin’s birthday, today also marks eight years since I have accepted Christ as my savior, I was 12 at the time as well. From the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior I knew God had a special calling for me. On October 29, 2007, I told God that I would follow Him and would be willing to serve Him. Even as I think about this I can’t imagine how a 12 year old girl already knew so deeply in her heart that God was calling her.

During one of the chapels, the speaker had said that sometimes we hear God calling us, but it could take years before He uses us. It all depends on God’s timing, but within those years of waiting, God would be preparing our hearts. Up from when I was 12 to now, 21, I believe God has been preparing me and He still is. He continues to affirm His special calling in my life and I do not know where God wants me to be specifically, but I do know He is calling me to serve as a teacher.

In the last couple of years, as a college student, God has been confirming it in my life that teaching is how He will use me. Have you ever walked into a place and your face lights up with a smile and you know deep in your soul that is where you belong? I get that feeling every time I step into a school setting and work with children. I use to always wonder why I was not gifted in certain talents or why I did not have a heart for certain work fields, such as the medical field, but today I am so thankful God is calling me into ministry as a teacher! Some people may think that teachers just work with kids all day, but we, Christian teachers, are called into some serious ministry and I can’t wait to start!

From 12 to 21, I would have never guessed that I would be where I am today. There has been hurt and trials along this journey so far, but it’s crazy to imagine that God is not done with me because He is just getting started. Through it all, I have faith that God knows what He is doing in my life, even when I don’t know what it is yet. I am reminded of Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
God knew what He wanted for Jeremiah and I believe that to be true for me as well! It’s reassuring to know that God knew me even before I was born. In His great timing, He will continue to reveal His desires to me and I pray that when He does, I will follow in obedience as I said I would when I was 12 years old.


Whoever is reading this, I pray that you will understand that God has a special calling for you as well. Whenever and wherever God calls you, I pray that you will hear Him and also respond in obedience and trust. In whatever career path you choose to pursue I believe that God will always be able to use you.