“When you enter God’s presence, you begin to recognize the terror of living apart from His presence.” - Wendy Alsup

I just can’t fathom and imagine a life set apart from God.

Sisters-In-Christ

Late post, but it’s never too late to share how beautiful these girls are. They are so special to me because I don’t have any blood sisters of my own. I have always deeply treasured my relationships with all my sisters-in-Christ because they allow me to experience sisterhood in a way I never thought I could. The girls that walk into my life don’t realize how much I appreciate them and their friendship, but each and every single one of them holds a special place in my heart.

A big thanks to the ladies who are like older sisters to me because they pour into me and watch out for me like their own little sister. Thanks to the younger girls who trust me and allows me to take care of them like a big sister would. Most importantly, I want to praise God for creating us and calling us to be in community because we get to grow and experience God’s goodness together and I wouldn’t have asked for sweeter and kinder souls to do life with.

Photo Credit to Cat

This picture was taken with Xee’s Iphone. I think it’s time to upgrade because the quality is life changing.

Missions Conference

Singing, “The Cause of Christ” by Kari Jobe. Such a good song!

This outfit was a Christmas gift from my mom last year.

Ending with this cutie! Kids in Hmong clothes are sooo adorable!

Humble Awakenings

I thought I was good at being honest with myself, but the Lord continues to humble me. 

Ms. Her

Two weeks ago I got my first full time job after graduating college as an Educational Assistant. I know, it’s such a fancy word for teacher assistant, right? Nonetheless, I love being back in the field and doing something I am so passionate about. As an EA it has really been a humbling and great learning experience so far. It’s different from what I thought it would be though. I have come to realize that I am limited to a lot of things. I can’t plan and I can’t bring work to do at home. I just finished my student teaching so not having so many responsibilities is actually kind of weird.  There are days that I am so thankful because I don’t have to worry about those things though. Regardless, I am so pumped for what’s to come and everyday I am thankful for this opportunity. I applied to so many jobs outside my degree, but I believe that the Lord knew what my heart desired and gave it to me according to His perfect timing. Also, it’s so nice to have my own desk! I feel like I have a place in the classroom that is mine. 

Today, my teacher was out and I got to sub for the class. It was such an interesting, but awesome experience. It really put me on my toes and had me busy all day. Even though teaching has its hectic moments I still have so much joy doing what I do and I can only praise God for that!

Pictures of my students acting out some of Aesop’s Fables. They were so cute and being shy.

Biblical Womanhood (Submission)

SALT 2017 was a busy conference for me more than usual because of the responsibilities I was in charge of. I didn’t go to a lot of workshops, but the one I went to spoke deeply to my heart. I wasn’t planning on going to this particular workshop, but the one I originally wanted to attend was full. When I first looked at the workshop list I saw Biblical Womanhood (On Submission) and because of the word “submission” I quickly scrolled my eyes to the next workshop. I’m pretty sure I was thinking “Submit to your husbands… blah, blah ,blah.” I tried to avoid it, but I’m so grateful that I ended up there.

The word “submission” can have a negative connotation with many women, but I thought the speaker (Amy Thao) did a great job at re-defining the word and our perspective of its biblical meaning. She defined submission as a willing heart for obedience to God-ordained authority. I saw submission in a negative light, but the speaker brought up a good point that our thoughts on submission have to align with who God is and He is a good God. Since God is a good, He would not die on the cross just to make us slaves under men. I was starting to think that there may be a greater meaning and calling to being submissive. Multiple verses in the bible tell wives to submit to their husbands, but not as servants (Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:4-5, 1 Peter 3:1, etc). The whole point is we’re not just submitting to our husbands, but ultimately to God. We submit with humble hearts to the Lord because we cannot save ourselves. Our husbands will also never fulfill us and we cannot put our hopes in our husbands, but because we trust in the Lord we allow our husbands to lead us. Sometimes we think a woman who always submits is weak, but in actuality it takes a strong woman to allow her husband to lead her.

Submission is transforming as it says in 1 Peter 3:1-2, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” Being submissive does not mean that we’re weak and powerless because through our submissive behavior to God our husbands and others can be transformed and won over. Submission is a witness of Jesus Christ and the power of His Gospel. Wow! That was eye opening to me about how powerful the act of submission can be when done in a humble, willing, and loving way. It also seems like we’re not suppose to speak over our husbands, but it is okay to voice our opinions and speak our minds. Once we voice our opinions we need to pray because God is truly the one in control.

Even though I didn’t think of submission in the most positive light, I knew submitting to my future husband was something I should do. After this workshop, I have a much more beautiful view and understanding of what it means to be submissive to God and my future husband. I truly feel that being called to humble submissiveness is a beautiful way to honor and glorify God. Just wanting to share something beautiful from SALT 2017

23

Thank you God for another year of life, 23 will be a good one!  The past 22 years has been a journey and I trust that the rest of my life will continue to be filled with adventure. I am so thankful that every aspect of my life is held in the palm of your hands and I will continue to leave everything at the feet of the cross.

Things I am grateful for at 23

1. A college degree!

2. The opportunity to lead a small group and live life with my sisters from my home church.

Wisdom

“I’d like to introduce you to the most remarkable woman in the Bible. She’s the most vibrant, life-giving, breathtaking female ever mentioned in Scripture, ever seen in history. She holds more wealth than the world’s richest business tycoon and more power than the world’s savviest politician.

If you make her your companion, you’ll discover the best friend you’ve ever known. She will encourage you. She will counsel you. She will protect you. She will strengthen you. She’s got your back. But if you get on her bad side, cross her, or snub her, she will become your fiercest enemy.

Her name is Wisdom.”

~ Margaret Feinberg

There is a deep desire to make wisdom my closest companion these days.

Lord, ground my life in your rich wisdom. Remind me daily that a drop of your wisdom is better than an ocean of earthly knowledge. Amen.

College Reflection

It’s officially been a month since I have graduated from college! I cannot even begin to express how much I miss Nyack, New York and all of my friends, but being home has brought me joy in many ways as well. In the past month there has been so much to reflect on as I thought about the past five years of my life. Five years ago, when I was preparing to go to college, people told me that it would be amazing and now that I have closed that chapter, I can attest to it! College, if lived well, are some of the best years of schooling people will go through. After much reflection, I would summarize my 5 years of college with these 5 words, peace, grace, courage, joy, and faithfulness. Those have been some of the underlying themes of my 5 years at Nyack College and here’s why…

Peace

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

Freshman year I was extremely uptight and restless. Most students tend to go out and take advantage of their freedom, but I stayed in my dorm room to do homework and study. My friends would invite me out, but I always said no because I was going to do school stuff. I would say I was busy, but let’s be real, I wasn’t truly that busy I just felt busy. I put so much pressure on myself to do well that it never seemed like I was doing enough. When doing my homework assignments and studying for my exams, I always felt anxious and nervous. It was not until my second semester that I learned to receive the Lord’s peace. I realized that if I worked to the best of my abilities then I should not  worry because God knew the effort  I was putting in. Ever since I received this truth I was able to relax more. God’s peace was something He exposed to me during my freshman year, but He continued to etch it onto my heart throughout the rest of my college years as different and more challenging circumstances started to arise.

Grace

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrew 4:16 

During my sophomore year, the word that kept coming into mind was, grace. This school year was the very first time that I had ever taken on a leadership role and I realized quickly that I was extremely flawed and so was everyone else. There were many moments where I was disappointed in myself and hurt by the members that I served. I found myself sad and sometimes upset with other people, but one day a friend reminded me that I needed to give them grace. I paused for a moment and thought, “why?” At that moment, I thought I was the one who needed grace. I wanted other people to be understanding and compassionate about where I was coming from. I continued to ponder on the idea of grace and realized that I already had grace from God and He was calling me to give grace to others even if I did not receive it in return. I started to see people and situations differently. I learned to give grace to those who did not understand the situation, but would still criticize things. Besides extending grace to others, I learned to also give grace to myself. I was the hardest on myself so I had to learn to be kind  when I did not feel like I was doing good enough. It was definitely a year of learning to receive God’s grace and then giving it to others and even myself.      

Courage

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Pslam 27: 14

I am not someone who normally likes to confront others because confrontation was always scary. My junior year was probably one the years where God really challenged my relationships with others. I needed a lot of courage to confront certain people and situations that were going on and He provided me with just enough courage to do so. Some confrontations turned out better than others, but the Lord really gave me a spirit of courage to do what I needed to do to restore or let go of some of those relationships. Courage was also the theme for our women’s ministry that year and we focused on doing some things that would take us out of our comfort zone. The Lord calls us to be courageous in our faith and in our lives because we will face many situations where we need to be bold, firm, and strong. This particular year, God taught me how to be courageous and it’s something that He still continues to challenge me about as life decisions get harder and harder.

Joy

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

My senior year of college did not start off well, but it was a time in my life where God was teaching me about what it meant to have and live in His joy. God used the rest of the year to diligently and patiently show me what it meant to still have joy in my suffering and disappointments. In this year, I had a strong desire to know more about His joy and how I could live a life full of it. I even started to blog so I could document the joyful moments in my life because I did not want to forget how good God had been to me. I was truly learning to have a deep joy in my life that would give me hope when things were difficult and it also allowed me to celebrate the good things in my life. Receiving God’s joy helped me strive less and in turn have a greater understanding and appreciation for His work in my life. 

Faithfulness

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is our faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Throughout my time at Nyack God was faithful to me in so many ways. My super senior year was definitely filled with evidence of God’s continual faithfulness in my life. I was in a sticky situation because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to student teach in the spring because I didn’t pass all of my state exams, but God was faithful and allowed me to pass all of them on the first try. Once I passed all of my tests, I received news that I still might not be able to student teach and graduate because I had a course to take before student teaching. My only hope was that my professors would allow me to combine my practicum and student teaching courses. Praise God because they did allow it and my cooperating teacher was willing to have me in her class longer. I had also been busy this year working two part-time jobs and going to school full-time. Before I started spring semester I debated long and hard to see if I should quit one of my part-time jobs. I really did not want to because I did not feel financially secure, but God reminded me of how faithful He was to me before I even started working. I am thankful that I quit because spring semester was even busier as I was student teaching full-time, working part-time, and then going to night classes as well. There were many moments and situations where I was uncertain of how things would turn out, but God always pulled through. Something that always encouraged me during this final year was that God would finish the works that He started in me. I knew everything was going to be okay because of His consistent and never ending faithfulness in my life. It was amazing because during commencement there was a huge sign that hung across the stage saying, “Celebrating God’s faithfulness.” He was truly faithful to me throughout my whole time at Nyack and in the future I pray that I will be able to remember these moments when I need to be reminded of His faithfulness.

As I wrote this post, I was overwhelmed with the many things that occurred in such a short amount of time.  I cannot simply share it all in a single blog post, but all I have to say is, I am such a different person from my 18 year old self. These past five years have challenged, stretched, and molded me in ways that built my character and confidence to whole a new level. During my time at school I believe God was preparing me for greater things to come. As I encounter future struggles I am sure these college issues will begin to pale in comparison, but it will also be these very trials that will remind me of God’s steadfast love for me. These stories will serve as a beautiful testimony of the work of God in my life as well. May you all be blessed and encouraged!

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Side note: Congratulations to all who also graduated from college this year. I pray that you would all rise to the calling that God has been equipping you for. To the high school graduates, congratulations! Life is about to get really interesting. Praying this new chapter of our lives will be sweet and full of new opportunities.

He is Faithful

“Faithful you have been, faithful you will be.”
A sweet reminder this morning that helped me make a decision. One factor that I like to consider when I make a decision is what will make me feel secure. Sometimes, I’m scared to make the choice that I know I should because I don’t know if I’ll be secure. I can think of countless stories of when God pulled through for me when I least deserved it so I don’t know why I’m still scared that He won’t do the same now. He will most definitely take care of me, always.