There are many women that I admire and respect, but it’s crazy how that admiration can quickly change into jealously or a desire to be accepted by them. It’s definitely because of my insecurities. I want to be like them or I want to be embraced and loved by them. It’s silly and something I never wanted to admit, but it’s a struggle that often makes its way to the surface and affects some of my relationships. Although, I desire to just have a genuine relationship with these sisters, it’s hard to fight off the thoughts that they’re better than me or that their opinions of me is what matters. I find myself trying to please them and perfect myself. In the end, it just becomes awkward. Where’s the genuineness in that? Most importantly, how is this mindset pleasing to the Lord?

The jealousy that I have for my sisters is a sin and not a characteristic of God. Other than my insecurities, it’s because my focus is too much on myself and not on God. The great news (there is always great news with God) is that I can overcome this by being more like Christ. As I become more like Christ, I’ll be able to produce the fruits that I was meant to produce, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and etc. (Galatians 5: 22-23). As these situations occur, the Lord continues to stretch my heart more with love for myself and others. I know I shouldn’t be intimidated or envious of other sisters who are gifted, talented, and excelling in life. I want to be able to celebrate with them and learn from them. When I’m too immersed with the world and not with God I forget that He created us ALL in His image and with the same purpose. I shouldn’t feel threatened or belittled by any of my sisters. I’m also not in charge of placing a value on any of our worth because of our different talents, personalities, and accomplishments. Instead, I’ve been praying that God would change my heart and my mind to cheer and pray for these sisters because I’m running the same race, I want to finish the race with them, and celebrate together.