There is a particular student who makes my job very difficult. There are many days where I feel like I fail as a teacher because of his defiance and hurtful comments. Here’s a guilty confession, on many occasions, I wished he would just transfer to another school to make my life easier. I never thought I would feel like this about a student, but the struggle is real! I did feel bad when I wished he would transfer because one, I would hate to put that responsibility onto someone else and two, I really didn’t want to give up on him. Two weeks ago, we were in the vice principle’s office literally everyday. I seriously thought the vice principle probably regretted hiring me because I didn’t seem very helpful. We actually have not gone up to office as much these days, but it is still a constant battle in the classroom.
In a situation like this it is sometimes hard to not be clouded by all the bad behavior. Some days I feel like I don’t even expect much from him, but today there was a small moment of victory. Usually, when he is not focused I have to sit next to him to help him, but he dislikes that so he tends to act up more. I have told him in the past to kindly and respectfully tell me that he doesn’t need help instead of throwing a tantrum, breaking his pencil, or flinging his shoe across the room. Of course, he doesn’t do what I ask, but only what he wants. Today, I was going to sit next to him during math and he was starting to get upset. I was bracing myself for the worst, but to my surprise he actually just looked at me and said, “No thanks Ms. Her, I don’t need help.” It was such a jaw dropping moment for me (cue the heavenly music). Even though he threw a big tantrum later on in the day, the small victory still made me rejoice. The small victories are telling me that something in him is changing and it may not be as fast as I want it to, but it is happening. Instead of focusing on the bad, I’m going to choose to celebrate the small victories every day because they count for so much more than I can imagine. Praise God for small, but meaningful victories!
